Kids Today….

Yesterday I overheard a conversation of a parent and child. The parent said a quote that is like second nature to me


To which the child/demon responded “Mom you need to stop quoting that old movie’

I had to hold myself back from hitting that child! I mean for real what a rude little bitch!

Ugh anyway…todays kids will never understand what it really felt like to be alive! Mostly because of Helicopter parents.

So this post goes out to that shit head child who called The Sandlot old and to those parents who say things like “I loved doing this as a kid’ because you’re literally aging it for the child and they have no choice but to think it’s old!

Kids Today…will never understand not being home for your favorite Saturday Morning cartoon


Now they have DVR and other assorted ways of watching…if I missed my show I had to wait till fucking summer…and if you missed one episode of the X-men cartoon you were lost! Also do they even do Saturday morning cartoons anymore?

Kids Today…will never know a time when there were only 151 Pokemon


It was hard enough to remember their names then….now there is like 3 billion Pokemon or something…

Kids Today…will never know you can get ‘turnt’ on Boone’s Farm

giphy (1)

Honestly we probably weren’t drunk but we sure thought we were! Smirnoff Ice with a Boone’s chaser!

Kids Today…will never understand how exciting it was to hear ‘We’re going to Discovery Zone’

giphy (2)

You know you had a good ass friend when they had their party at DZ!

Kids Today…will never know where the fuck Carmen San Diego is


I mean do they even teach Geography anymore?

Kids Today…will never understand how awesome it was to have Surge in your lunch box


Do parents even pack soda anymore? Ours did…honestly our hearts could have exploded but those recesses on Surge were LIT

Kids Today…have probably never died of Dysentery on the Oregon Trail 


You could be sad about your loss but it was more Bison meat for those still alive…so bye

Kids Today…will never know Zach Morris originally lived in Indiana…

giphy (3)

It was never explained how he, Mr Belding, Lisa and Screech suddenly moved to California and don’t get me started on Tori suddenly disappearing…

Kids Today…will never know how to use a rotary phone


It was always a fun time when the number had a lot of 7’s or higher!

Kids Today…will never know what it’s like to stay out until the street lights come on


With the amount of amber alerts that go out these days I don’t even know if parents let their children go outside anymore.

Kids Today…will never know a time when we didn’t know there would be more Star Wars movies

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We waited so long!!!!!!!! SO LONG!!!!!!!

Kids Today…will never have to worry about your photos turning out


There were no redos! You have to countdown and stay on point for the flash to go off! Then that tragic moment when you get your photos back AND THEY’RE NOT EVEN YOURS!!!!!!!!!!

I’ll probably think of more things later…so obviously this will have a sequel!

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