Tis the season for attending multiple events! Many of which fall on the same night…let’s face it people there are only so many Fridays and Saturdays in a month!
If you haven’t been invited to any events….well maybe work on your personality a bit before the next holiday season!
As a veteran Holiday Party attendee I feel as if I’m the proper person to inform the masses about the types of people you’ll see at a Holiday Party.
But seriously who are you trying to impress? Where on the invitation did it say ‘Red Carpet Event’
You’re literally wearing pajamas…get your shit together Carol!
The Overly Festive
Oh you love Christmas? I couldn’t tell from all the festive colors you were wearing or the decorated Christmas tree hanging out of your asshole!
The Empty Handed
Seriously what part of BYOB did you miss? Or the part that said ‘Bring a Dish’? It takes five minutes to stop at a store to grab something…fix your life!
The Food Guard
Worried that platter of Deviled Eggs won’t be finished by the other guests? Well thankfully you’re here to eat all of them!
The Late Arrival
You weren’t even at another party…why are you two hours late? What were you doing?
The Party Hopper
Two cocktails max, a simple plate of samples of everything….can’t fill up or get too drunk when you have another party to go too!
The Early Departure
Sometimes a bitch has to work on weekends…this is usually me…
The Party Pooper
Cheer the fuck up! It’s Christmas! Stop pouting and reminding everyone how sad you are…we get it!
The Health Nut
…I couldn’t tell if you were on a diet or not after the multiple questions you had about the calorie content of every item on the Christmas food buffet…eat a fucking cake pop already!
The Non Festive
Who attends a holiday party and celebrates nothing?
The Walking Disaster
Is there nothing you won’t break?
Can you just not? Like not during a party to celebrate the Holiday season?
Literally a ticking time bomb! They opened their house to you and you’ve destroyed it! Don’t get caught or your life will probably be ended!