Being an adult is hard…because you have these things called responsibilities.
Exactly Phil!
One thing they should tell you when you’re growing up is that once you’re an adult life is no longer simple. You can’t spend your days doing nothing anymore because there is always something you have to do.
So let’s look at some things you did growing up that you simply can’t do anymore or as much now that you’re an adult.
Catching Fireflies
When you’re a kid and you live in a region where fireflies frequent then you spent a lot of time running around with a pickle jar trying to catch one. When you’re an adult running around with a pickle jar people just assume you’re weird.
Ice Cream Man
When you’re a kid and you hear the Ice Cream truck coming you drop EVERYTHING to go get money in time to get your favorite treat on a hot summer day. Now if you hear the ice cream truck you have to use your own money to buy a treat! Like what’s that even about?
P.S. our ice cream man was a drunk so sometimes you could get an IOU and never pay him because he wouldn’t remember.
Six Flags
When you were a kid it felt like you were there once a week! I mean you did have a season pass! You’d spend hours running around the entire park and riding everything. You weren’t even tired by the time you got to the car! Now you’re lucky to go once during the year. Not to mention the rides really take a toll on your body when they’re throwing you around everywhere!
Water Parks
They’re the best time when you’re a kid. Running through everything to get as wet as possible. The older you get the more you notice how badly the pavement burns your feet. Not to mention the lazy river becomes extremely appealing when all you wanna do is get some sun.
Carnivals
As a kid it’s all about the all access pass. That way you can ride whatever ride you want anytime you want. As an adult your all access pass is for beer. So you can get drunk and sing ‘Friends In Low Places’ in a giant drunken circle.
Playing Outside
Oh what fun you used to have outside playing with your friends. Just enjoying the beautiful weather. Now your outside time consists of mowing the lawn and gardening so the neighbors don’t judge how your home looks.
Staying Up Late
Stay up as late as you want!!!! It’s not like you have anything to do tomorrow….well when you’re adult you’re lucky if you get to stay up late without worrying about how well you’ll function the next day.
Bike Riding
As a youth you probably rode around your neighborhood chanting ‘Rocky Loves Emily’ and raced your friends around the street until you all threw your bike onto someones front lawn to get a drink or snack. As an adult your bike riding is usually at spin class because you want to lose your fat ass.
Driving Around With Friends
Once you get a license one of the things you spend your evenings doing is just cruising around town. Blasting your favorite tunes and making fun of people you drive by. When you’re an adult if you’re in the car with friends it’s because you’re the DD or you’re running errands
Changing In Public
It’s the norm at a public pool to just drop trow and change in front of everyone. When you’re an adult and you take your pants off at the pool you’re a sex offender.
Doing Nothing
When you’re a kid you can literally do nothing all day if your parents don’t care about you. Adults have to schedule time to do nothing….or just ignore everything we have to do in order to do nothing.
Going To The Movies
I’m pretty sure I went to see every single movie that I wanted too. Like my friends and I were ALWAYS at the movie theater. I mean…it’s fair to say that when I was younger tickets were a hell of a lot cheaper than they are today. Like when you ask someone to go to the movies now they have to go meet with their financial advisor and see if it’s ok to go to the movies. Don’t even get me started on drink and soda prices….
Sleepovers
These were probably the most stressful events of your childhood. I mean if you threw a big sleepover that is. You had to have the menu of snacks just right…and your mom couldn’t go cheap on the soda or she would ruin EVERYTHING! Now there just simply isn’t enough floor space to have 12 adult friends come over for a sleepover…unless you’re only friends with little people…Also it’s worth noting that most adult sleepovers are quite different and involve very very different activities.
Movie Rentals
Speaking of sleepovers one of the crucial parts of having one was picking out the video games to play or movies to watch. A quick trip to Blockbuster would do…but you can’t do that anymore!!! Thanks afuckinglot Redbox ya dick!
Family Vacation
If your parents picked the right location a family vacation gave you stories for at least a year. Don’t forget being a kid was all about how much better the things you did were than your friends. The sad thing is after a certain age your parents stop taking you on vacations…or maybe that’s just my parents. They rudely went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter without me…mind you they both know nothing of Harry Potter…my dad tries but he referred to Severus Snape as Servius Snap once…just not cool!
Pool Time
Once upon a time being in the pool was an adventure. A splashtastic good time! From Marco Polo ro Sharks and Minnows there were plenty of fun games to play. At what point did it switch from play time to tan time? #passthebronzer
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