American Horror Story: Hotel

It was announced today that the theme of the next American Horror Story season will be Hotel.

Also they said Lady Gaga would be on it so I’m guessing that’s the terrifying part…

As someone who works in the daily horror that is hotels. I think I can properly make guesses as to what will happen in each episode!

Considering that each season consists of 13 episodes we will look at what may happen in each episode.

But don’t worry I have full confidence that Ryan Murphy will totally ruin the concept!

Episode 1: Bed Bugs!


Fun fact: Most people who find Bed Bugs in their hotel room probably brought them in with them!

Episode 2: Stained Sheets!


It’s rare but it happens! Seriously the chances are very slim that you’ll have a sheet with a stain on it but if you do…it can be changed!

Episode 3: I Asked For Foam Pillows!


Chances are ya didn’t! But if you’re very specific about the type of pillow you want in your room…BRING YOUR PILLOW FROM HOME!

Episode 4: They Lost Our Reservation!


Listen…no one lost it…you never made it!

Episode 5: There’s A Hair On The Toilet!


Whose hair is it? The previous guest or the housekeepers?

Episode 6: I Locked Myself Out Of My Room And I’m Not Wearing Anything!


No words can describe the awkward moment when you have to ask for their ID to let them in the room…

Episode 7: What Do You Mean There’s No Coffee?


People who depend on coffee are monsters when they don’t have it! MONSTERS!!!

Episode 8: My Alarm Didn’t Go Off!


Oh you’re late? Please make it all my fault…thanks!

Episode 9: What Do You Mean The Restaurant Is Closed?


Ma’am it’s the middle of the night…yes the restaurant is closed!

Episode 10: The Room Next Door Is Having Really Loud Sex!


They’re having a good time…you’re not…deal with it!

Episode 11: The Bitch From Hell Who Won’t Stop Complaining!


Seriously I’m sorry no one loves you and you have to take it out on the hotel. But get your crotchety ass back into your mini van and drive back into the pits of hell that you came from!

Episode 12: The Rollaway Bed Won’t Fit In A Room With Two Beds!


Two beds aren’t enough for you? You need a third one? Well I’m sorry that we can’t fit them in the rooms due to lack of space. Maybe you should spend more money and actually rent a second room with a connecting door! Cheap ass!

Episode 13: New Management!


There is nothing more terrifying about working in hotels than those two words! Who are they? How will they act? Will they fire everyone? No one knows!

For more Hotel blog posts go here and here and again here

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