Spiders…why?!? Part 2

I seriously never thought I would be writing a sequel to this blog post but y’all done went and made it happen!

Are you fucking happy?

There’s been some developments in the war that has been battled since God created the world or Darwin evolved the first Pokemon. I wasn’t there so I’m not quite sure how it started but I can tell you this…it’s real!

So I’m driving home the other day. Having a nice leisurely drive listening to the radio. A rare occurrence since I got my aux cable. So they start talking about this singer and her medical procedure she recently had done…

Let’s face I tuned it right then and there!

I turned the radio up and I got comfortable. This was gonna be good! I mean who doesn’t watch those videos people posts of giant zits being popped…we all watch it and are disgusted together…

BUT THIS STORY CROSSED THE ULTIMATE LINE!

So this girl had this weird tickling sensation in her ear…

Mmhmm just wait!

So she goes to the Dr. to have it checked out…

I’m having flashbacks of when I first heard this story!

So they look in there and there’s something in her ear…

(It’s what you expect)

So they wiggle around and it reveals itself to be a big old spider just living in the bitches ear canal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT IT GETS WORSE!!!!!!

But you say how can it get worse? Oh just wait!

This bitch said ‘Oh don’t kill it’

BITCH THERE IS A GOT(intentional typo) DAMN SPIDER LIVING INSIDE OF YOUR DOME PIECE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON’T KILL IT?

So the doctors had to vacuum this spider our of her brain so she could release it into her garden to enjoy the rest of its life.

You think releasing it into your garden that that spider won’t come looking for the nice warm hold inside your head?

If you ask me the spider did some kind of damage in there…

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I just stumbled across this picture on the internets!

FUCKING RAINING SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will now say that I will never go to Jamaica!

My dream of reenacting Cool Runnings is now dead because of their spider rain!

But don’t worry it also happens in Brazil!

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So just cancel any chance of me going there!

Like I want to go on The Amazing Race one day but I’m going to have to quit the second they suggest that I have to travel to a country where is rains fucking spiders!

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1. You think that helmet is going to protect you when you have all the skin exposed on your arms?

2. What the fuck country do you live in that this giant ass spider would even be in your home?

3. Burn down your house…leave everything behind…don’t look back!

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The actual idea that I could be walking along and this creepy ass spider could pop out of the ground and try to pull me under is honestly the most terrifying thing I can think of!

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What kind of person even thinks about approaching this with anything but a blow torch?

Burn those fuckers!

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1. Why is this creep ass just casually allowed to be on your arm?

2. Clearly you should have known better than to trust it! It went directly for the kill shot!

Here’s the deal folks! Honestly do we really need spiders?

I mean people ‘claim’ they help the ecosystem but I really doubt that…

I’m not a scientist so if someone wants to bring me some solid facts I’ll listen. I mean I’ll never believe you but I’ll listen…

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