Going to the movies is an experience.
Everyone has fond memories of seeing a particular movie and the effect that it had on them.
I can remember watching Jurassic Park and thinking ‘Oh My God’ it was everything!
Although the prices have gone up drastically in my lifetime we still make ourselves available to go see movies. You don’t get the same feelings watching a movie at home that you do watching it in a Theater.
But the downside of seeing a film in the Theater are the other attendees. So I wanted to touch base with everyone with some assholes you’ll certainly encounter at the Theater!
And in case you forgot I used to work at a Movie Theater and I know a thing or two about Movie Theater assholes!
The Assholes Who Keeps Talking
Seriously why did you pay $12 to fucking talk in a movie theater? You could have stayed home and talked the whole time!
I don’t mind as much if you’re talking about the movie but the mother fuckers who are talking about other shit….GET OUT!!
The Asshole Who Didn’t Put Their Phone On Silent
You were warned at least three times before the movie started…
Not to mention the fact that there is such a thing as common courtesy.
I can assure you no one in the theater cares that you’re ‘popular’ turn your phone off!
The Asshole Who Brought A Baby
Seriously…they have specific ‘Mommy and Me’ movies available. Go to that!
Don’t bring your baby to any movie starting after 11am!
The Asshole Who Checks Their Phone With Maximum Brightness
Did you know if your phone brightness is lower you will conserve your battery?
You didn’t because you’re too busy making sure everyone knows you’re checking your phone!
The Asshole Who Drops A Wild Pack Of Teenagers Off At The Theater
You know that your kids will not behave…who are you kidding here?
Oh yourself! Even you won’t see a movie in the same theater as the kids you’re dropping off…what does that say?
The Asshole Wild Pack Of Teenagers
Teenagers are basically hyenas and when they’re in a pack they will ruin everything!
Between talking, texting and running around there is no room to remember the finer plot points of the movie because they’ve ruined the whole experience.
The Asshole Who Keeps Using The Bathroom
Do you have a problem?
Seriously though is your bladder ok? Because if it’s not you should have stayed home!
The Asshole Who Didn’t Secure Their Drink Lid
Here’s the thing…I feel for you, I really do.
But when you spill your entire drink on yourself and then make a scene in the movie theater you’re just an asshole!
The Asshole Who Eats Their Popcorn As Loudly As Possible
Maybe don’t hold the bag at an angle so you don’t have to keep shaking it to find your popcorn.
Also maybe try chewing with your mouth closed…
The Asshole Who Can’t Figure Out How To Open Their Candy
Maybe you should have opened it before the movie started?
Just a thought…also when you destroy your bag you can use the box that is came in to hold your candy…
The Asshole Who Forgot To Teach Their Child What Shush Means
If your child has no grasp on that then please see the Mommy and Me movie section.
The Asshole Employee Who Checks On The Theater Non Stealthily
You somehow think you have some sort of power because you’re checking on the guests.
You have no power…walk quietly, don’t walk in front of people and exit quietly…
The Asshole Who Doesn’t Move For The Person Trying To Go To The Bathroom
I mean there isn’t much leg room to begin with and you’re going to make someone crawl over you? Fuck off…
The Asshole Who Blocks A Whole Aisle When The Movie Is Over
Movie is over stand up and get out!
Most movies don’t have after movie things…and if they do you can see them online like an hour later. Don’t force everyone else to be stuck with you!
The Asshole Who Claps
Who are you clapping for?
Do you think the people who worked on the movie can hear you? They cant!