10 Things That Are Bullshit!

Basically this is me right now


So let’s get down to business with the ten things that are bullshit!

1. ‘Moving up ceremonies’ or ‘Graduation’s that aren’t from High School or College’


I’m sorry but what went wrong with society where we really crossed the line of celebrating accomplishing literally nothing.

Oh you graduated pre school?

Tell me how difficult that was!

Oh you’re moving from Middle School to High School by all means lets order a cap and gown!

Sorry but in my own opinion, celebrating every time your child moves up a grade is basically saying that you were honestly worried they weren’t going to make it…

I will acknowledge that kindergarteners do a lot more than I used too back in the day. We went to school for half a day. During this half day we still had a nap, play time and a snack/lunch. The only thing that I failed was my home address, when asked where I live I simply stated ‘On the other side of tracks’.

At the end of the day this is a downward spiral to celebrating every time anyone takes a shit!


2. The first mother fucker whose headlight went out and thought I’ll just turn my brights on.


Seriously fuck off! You are obviously aware that there is a problem, because if you didn’t know you wouldn’t turn your brights on.

It’s completely infuriating to be driving along have a great time, when suddenly an asshole pulls up behind you with their brights on.

I have a low to the ground car…you’re making it extremely difficult to see sir!

So rather than being a dick head and blinding people in their cars why not go get your shit fixed.

It costs about $20 so how about you take your lazy ass to Wal-Mart and ‘Git-R-Done’ as your people would say.


3. When you’re typing something and hear a word elsewhere and somehow type it without noticing.


If you’re a fast typer like I am you’ll felt the pain of this issue. You’re chatting with someone and hit send, only then do you notice that randomly in the middle of the sentence is the word…


You weren’t even talking about pancakes! But someone on the tv or in the close vicinity said the word and without even knowing how it happened you typed it.

It’s just another one of those things that your brain does to remind you of who is in charge!


4. Countless emails from clothing stores.


Oh are you having a sale? Because I couldn’t tell from the five emails that you sent me about it…


Calm your tits a little bit and send me one a week or month. Better yet how about you send me a legitimate email with some kind of deal. That’d be nice!

Or rather than sending me 6 emails with 15% off you send me one email with 90% off. That will definitely get my attention more than a low discount on something that will cost even less when it’s for sale on the clearance rack…IN TWO WEEKS!


5. Nut allergies


Where did this even come from?

Was it always so serious?

If there was a kid in grade school that was allergic to peanuts we sure as hell didn’t know about it because I sure as shit ate a pb&j every damn day!

Now if one kid is allergic no one can have nuts!!!

Which means at Halloween all the other kids will be punished by the lack of peanut butter cups.

The fact of the matter is folks that even doctors agree that people are overreacting to this ‘epidemic’.

Others kids shouldn’t suffer due to one kids unfortunate allergy.


6. Facebook Enablers


Seriously the most annoying thing about FB. You know who they are!

They sit waiting for someone to have a completely lame whiny Facebook status then they swoop in to give you all the sympathy in the world.

It’s like the live off of other people’s misery. It gives them the nourishment they need to live!

You have a cold? Well let me feel sorry for you and escalate it by reminding you of the last time you were super sick!


Which brings me to point #7


7. Facebook Whiners


Literally nothing can or will ever go right for this person.

There is no silver lining.

The sun will not come out tomorrow.

But as I stated before nothing is worse than reading this persons crazy pathetic rant and seeing that people are buying into it.

Case in point – Whining on FB because your husband lost his job and is home all the time. He gets the job and you complain because he isn’t there to help you take care of your unruly children.


Make up your mind…and in the meantime stay off fucking Facebook!


8.  Autocorrect!


Can we just acknowledge at this point that ‘fuck’ is a word?

When I say ‘What the fuck’ I mean that and not ‘What the duck’!

Tell me autocorrect which one of those makes more sense?

Or that time I posted the picture of my cousin Logan and his Special Olympics medals and I typed the word ‘nugget’ to which you autocorrected to be the word ‘n*gger’.

REALLY?!? Thank God I caught that one on time otherwise I would have had a lot of explaining to do to a lot of people!


9. Being quiet in a Library!


You know what makes libraries creepy? The eerie silence!

The whole purpose is to go and borrow books so that you can go home and read in peace.

I’m loud…even when I whisper it’s not a secret! So how about we have like designated sections for talking and then sections for quiet reading.

I feel like this is some bullshit rule some crusty old librarian from 1912 who really hated noise…and for some reason the rest of society adapted to these rules.


10. Cliffhangers


These in general are serious bullshit. So you have to wait until the show comes back in the Fall to know what happened? What if it doesn’t come back until the Spring?

The WORST is when a show you watch ends in a cliffhanger and the show gets cancelled.

You will LITERALLY never know what happened to those characters. Or if the person who may or may not have died in the end actually died.

Networks should know better than this and offer one extra episode to be filmed in order to give closure to those of us who get too invested.

Do you remember the last episode of Roseanne when she basically spit in our faces and said everything we knew was a lie….terrible just terrible.


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