Easter Schmeaster

Like…what’s the deal with Easter?!?

Not to sound dumb or anything but like why? what? who?

If it’s about Jesus why is there a bunny?

So I decided to do some investigating!

Yes although I don’t consider myself to be religious I am aware that Easter is supposed to be the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus. I know this because every year at this time of year they show The Ten Commandments on TV.


(These gifs are not actually from The Ten Commandments)

Also there are an abundant amount of Jesus movies in the movies theaters…Noah, God’s Not Dead, Son of God, Heaven is For RealThat’s just the ones that come out this year!

So why is it on Easter sunday we run around looking for eggs and not coming out of tombs pretending we are Jesus?

Well according to the Wikipedia  Easter is the celebration of fertility and resurrection.

There is a lot of information about like the moon and how if impacts that date in which Easter falls on…it was so fascinating that I stopped reading but if you’re interested feel free to use the Google!

So here are some things I would like to talk about…

1. Why eggs?

Bunnies don’t lay eggs…they have babies.


That’s not how it actually works…In reality the simple answer is that the Easter Bunny leaves eggs because as I stated previously Easter is the celebration of Fertility

I guess we should consider ourselves lucky they don’t leave sperm lying around.

2. Why do we get photos with the Easter Bunny?

Seriously though? Why would you do this to your kids?


Like what is that head?


Take a bath!!!! For fucks sake!


I mean that is Chuck E. Cheese’s face!


That girl is a serial killer. No one could smile through that picture


This kid knows whats up!


This kid is questioning whether or not this holiday is a joke


She was never seen again!


Pure Terror!

3. Why don’t we take pictures with Jesus?

Easter after all isn’t all about the Easter Bunny! Sorry if this may be offensive but think about it…I haven’t!


It will help the gifted beard growers find more work.

4. Where do the baskets come from?

It’s hard enough trying to figure out where the Easter Bunny gets his eggs…but seriously the baskets? Is he a master weaver? Just walking around weaving baskets?


5. Why do we actually hunt the eggs?

Apparently hunting eggs started as a fun game in comparison to finding Jesus’s tomb.


It’s all fun and games until you realize other people are beating you!


How could have let this happen?


Not only are you losing…most of your eggs are empty!


Watching whoever got the most eggs win the big prize.

6. Why even bother hiding the eggs?


Looks like a fun Easter to me!

7. Whose idea was it have mostly white Easter clothes?

Parents go through all of this trouble of finding the perfects easter outfits!

Easter Cuties

But let’s remember kids ruin everything!


Seriously though whose idea was it to make Easter clothing so bright and cheery and oh yeah WHITE! Let’s pick the easiest clothes to stain for kids to run around outside!

Get your bleach!

8. Is Easter just at this point just another excuse to see your family?


Yes…Yes it is!

But sometimes you’re just better off not doing that!

9. The only thing that matters is the candy!

Bitches love candy!

tumblr_my6t2hpkBa1r7gsxzo1_500  tumblr_n47pg5Haf61r6g9m4o1_400 tumblr_mkixjbrqmU1qdkw5yo1_250 tumblr_n48as38LMg1qarjjvo1_400

10. The only candy that matters!


Let’s wrap this up!








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