Where have I been?

Hello there!

Welcome back to this adventure of mine.

First I would like to apologize for those of you that were big fans and really wanted to read up on my weekly adventures. I’d like to thank Ellie and Casey for their constant harassment about why the blog wasn’t being updated.

So let’s discuss what you’ve missed!

Well for starters I lost my job. I was probably the only person in history who got fired with a smile on his face. Despite losing my job I did manage to win unemployment so things aren’t really that bad. I get to search for a job I love while being paid by the job I didn’t love. Win/Win!

I’m single. It’s fine…don’t ask…

I’m still not talking to my family. It’s dine…don’t ask…

I’ve enjoyed an incredible drunk summer with the friends that I love. Which brings me to the main part of this post.

The part of the blog posts that you all love the most!

The pictures worth a thousand words!!!!!

Here is what you’ve missed:

(Note that this is in no particular order, other than who sent me what pics when and I ain’t go no patience to try to put these pictures into any kind of regular order. If you have a problem I’m now hiring a photo organizer for no pay! Apply within!!!)

20130813-182454.jpg

When playing circle of death sometimes you just need to take a moment to fan yourself.

20130813-182503.jpg

Horizontal Titanicing

20130813-182510.jpg

This bitch! She is loved and missed…we all fans (see what I did there)

20130813-182516.jpg

So this bitch fell into the plant…notice how the screen is black because she’s not even on the phone! Yeah she drove us home that night…

20130813-182523.jpg

I was really excited about my drink having tits! Thanks Pamela Anderson!

20130813-182530.jpg

This guy kept trying to dance on me and like would try to high-five me to trap me into it…No sir I don’t high-five strangers!

20130813-182536.jpg

Martha Dumptrucks…Heathers forever!!!!!

20130813-182543.jpg

Sir thank you for, for no reason, shaving off part of your handlebar mustache.

20130813-182550.jpg

Kelsi you dancing behind this guy was amazing you were so close!!!!

20130813-182557.jpg

Then casually walk away. Making up for that time that you fell on the patio!

20130813-182606.jpg

This girl kept grabbing her hair…so I made sure we did it together! I also crocheted her top!

20130813-182624.jpg

Rachel just cupping dem balls!

20130813-182632.jpg

Just laying there like a whole fish while getting penetrated! (Yeah Casey Calcaterra I said whole)

20130813-182638.jpg

Sometimes when you see pictures of things you did the night before you have to think to yourself how did I not get more injured?

20130813-182644.jpg

Christina put that whole twerk for jesus down on Danny and he got light-headed and dizzy and fell over

20130813-182651.jpg

Ralph saw Danny fall and said ‘I’m gonna get on that…HEYYYYYYYYY’

20130813-182658.jpg

Just Tiffany getting arrested while Nikki looks on with disapproval and Kelsi takes a whole picture! (There it is again Casey)

20130813-182704.jpg

She’s not one of us…but girl needs to keep her shoes on for sure!

20130813-182710.jpg

Twerking Barbie

20130813-182714.jpg

Just my Schnucks engagement ring…no big deal!

20130813-182720.jpg

Nikki won the Novaks diversity award! Congrats Nikki!

20130813-182725.jpg

I pinched Donna Jo’s nipple and she smashed my whole thumb into its socket. Not cool Dj!

20130813-182736.jpg

I’m not sure what her drunk thought was behind this other than I wonder what a fire extinguisher will feel like close to my cooter…

20130813-182752.jpg

Just a group shot…while I have a stroke

20130813-182801.jpg

Some bitches can be so thirsty!

20130813-182809.jpg

I’m really not sure what’s going on here…but it looks like the worst way to start making out.

20130813-182817.jpg

Dear Wesley, That face…NO!

20130813-182824.jpg

Someone taking a picture of me being sad taking a picture of them being sad…brilliant!

20130813-182831.jpg

Yeah…scary!

20130813-182838.jpg

Twerk + Ass bongos…danny this could explain your hurt.

20130813-182846.jpg

I was really scared by this little girl jumping on Nikki

20130813-182854.jpg

She’s got those big elephant ears!

20130813-182901.jpg

Just me and Tiffany being Velociraptors…NBD

20130813-182911.jpg

Just a big ole group shot at Sarah’s going away party

20130813-182918.jpg

Just us boughie friends in matching shirts working Sarah’s signature pose and patterns

20130813-182925.jpg

Bitch fell in that whole sink then turned the water on her self. She spent the rest of the night trying to figure out who would turn the water on her like that.

20130813-182937.jpg

Just riding a kids scooter…judge away

20130813-223427.jpg

I don’t understand why Laura Jones didn’t want this painting.

20130813-223432.jpg

That infamous sad face picture

20130813-223438.jpg

Just some more street preaching.

20130813-223442.jpg

This guy was probably the creepiest experience in a long while. How you going to literally stand on top of someone then when they move away you scoot back on top of them. Go home!

20130813-223449.jpg

Look Brandi is out.

20130813-223453.jpg

Twerking for Jesus train!

20130813-223458.jpg

Dj just trying to get that footing!

20130813-223501.jpg

When you see it!

20130813-223506.jpg

Just a group shot…where i apparently have a backwards crippled arm…

20130813-223512.jpg

Lap dances for all!

20130813-223516.jpg

Still never banned from a bar…

20130813-223521.jpg

Angela’s face makes this whole picture (Whoop there it is Casey!)

20130813-223526.jpg

Ralph often claps for himself!

20130813-223532.jpg

Just a little jizz

20130813-223536.jpg

Drunk as fuck…no telling who Danny could be on the phone with…and really Nikki you gonna take that whole pitcher (sorry not sorry Casey)

20130813-223541.jpg

I mean I’m dying at Amy holding this purse

20130813-223550.jpg

Flava Flav eat your heart out!

20130813-223553.jpg

We didn’t chain them down…so hopefully no one takes them.

20130813-223559.jpg

She just wants that D!

20130813-223606.jpg

So many things happening…just don’t look in Kelsi’s eyes they’ll steal your whole soul in this picture! (Casey is probably getting sick of the word whole)

20130813-223611.jpg

I can almost guarantee someone I know was responsible for this!

20130813-223615.jpg

She’s just gonna sit on it…and he just spreading dem cheeks

20130813-223620.jpg

Just waiting at the hospital for news on Danny’s health. While wasted at like four am. NBD

20130813-223624.jpg

Seats taken! (She’s just having a Forrest Gump moment)

20130813-223913.jpg

Riding that pink elephant making it her bitch!

20130813-223917.jpg

Yes that’s a penis. Yeah she is posing with him like this happens every day. God Bless.

20130813-223921.jpg

Typical!

20130813-223928.jpg

Learning to type on a typewriter with my weird crazy fingers.

20130813-223933.jpg

Just your average sleepover necessities!

20130813-223937.jpg

I love when Nikki gets distracted by immobile objects and decides to have a photo shoot.

20130813-223941.jpg

The mailbox is eating my whole arm…Nikki can’t be bothered!

20130813-223945.jpg

‘Hey Daddy…you want some of my popcorn?’

20130813-223950.jpg

Ok Amy…this looks borderline rapey…lock it up

20130813-223954.jpg

NYC has the Naked Cowboy…we have the Naked Preacher

20130813-223958.jpg

Just Gina sleeping in a bar…its fine or it’s vine or whatever

20130813-224012.jpg

Yeah it’s daylight…yea I’m wasted…yes I’m putting on someones sweater vest.

20130813-224017.jpg

These sluts…

20130813-224021.jpg

Happy Birthday Brandi!!!! Those were some bomb ass cake balls Kayla got you!

20130813-224025.jpg

Tiffany teaching fire safety and physical education. Remember kids it is important to do lunges while spraying a fire!

20130813-224030.jpg

Laura teaching pool safety ala Shocantelle Brown in a cat suit!

20130813-224037.jpg

Do Not Walk…doesn’t say do not climb!

20130813-224049.jpg

Christina this is actually how you twerk for jesus! You twerk on someone while they are reading a bible!

20130813-224054.jpg

I love Clark. I love latina Nikki. I love black Rachel.

20130813-224100.jpg

When eating bananas one apparently must eat them aggressively.

20130813-224105.jpg

Beetlejuice Surprise!

20130813-224110.jpg

Some one needs to cute back on the lip gloss if you can’t even eat fried chicken without the whole leg getting stuck! (you see this one Casey)

20130813-224115.jpg

This is what is called day twerking…it’s really rare but it happens!

20130813-224121.jpg

Typical lesbian activity right here

20130813-224127.jpg

And remember kids always have a flotation device…even if it’s a blow up doll!

Follow these Instagrams to stay on top of the madness: @dannyogolin, @tsmith33084, @jusralph11, @nikki8144, @djharden, @mrrager314, @laurajones6551, @astacy23, @casecalcaterra, @gdiddy636, @ker_stina, @bgc7shellyray, @r8chelb8ker, @ayabaybayy27

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s