Five Day Bender: Dirty Thirty

Saturday May 25th was a rough day….I woke up and it was just one of those I’m not really going to do anything today kind of days.

The one thing I managed to do was sit in a chair and not move for most of the day. It was magical.

At one point I thought about napping but the First Wives Club was on so that didn’t happen. It’s all good!

Around 6:30 I finally got up to get ready for Nikki’s Dirty Thirty!

Danny and I arrived at 7 so that we could help set up the decorations…the decorations got there around 7:30 but there was enough people to help that it wasn’t really a struggle. We were pretty much done by the time Nikki walked in…long hair…no caring.

The following is a shit show…enjoy!

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I wasn’t aware we could play a game of Clue there…I woulda done it with the knife in the billiard room!

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Just some of the normal people in Nikki’s life…and me…

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Nikki’s mom made her this lovely hat…that spent most of the night nowhere near Nikki…I hope her mom makes me a special hat for this weekend…

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Jwoww!

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Just looking in different directions…no big deal!

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Look how shiny that wine is!

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It’s at this point that I realized that people were lining up to get photo’s with Nikki and ain’t nobody said shit to me!

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Aww look at the cute family photo…oh #sorrynotsorry

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Apparently Amy Stacy eats very differently than the rest of us…

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She blocks her whole mouf to eat!

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Someone was extra excited about this cake! She fingered it a little bit…

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All the time we spent talking about fucking glamour shots and she didn’t even mention this…not even once! Ashamed Nicole Renee!

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Shelly’s boob managed to wear the hat!

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So did Connie’s!

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This is when we all sang Happy Birthday…I’m pretty sure I crushed it!

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I mean that girl in the background means business!

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Nikki’s dad ain’t got time for these shenanigans there is a foosball table!

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You know what the best part of this picture is?

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All these crusty bitches taking the same fucking picture!!!!

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Well now we know where Nikki gets that booty!

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That hand gesture is the no you’re gay gesture

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Thats the give him your number face

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Here is the wild Ralph picking up a young boy with the assistance of Shelly and Dj. You’ll see that the wild Shelly ain’t got time for it by the time the third pic was taken.

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The wild and horny Ralph took the young buck into the stairwell to get them digits…he got them digits!

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This is sometime before or after Christina dropped it like it was hot while eating cake….bitch loves cake!

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In the background you’ll notice that Christina is still really excited about that cake

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Aerial shot!

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Tiffany was being a little extra so she was sent to eat her tater tots alone!

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Wobble came on…I mean Shelly dem legs looking real nice!

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When you see it…

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Laura I just love that you chugged that wine…you chugged it real good

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That moment when you realize that the food is gone

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My what a big hard on you have!

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The adults seemed to have a good time!

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I bet this wasn’t staged at all!

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Can’t tell if piggy back ride attempt…or sexy dance move attempt

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Nikki doing her best Jesus on the cross

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I mean that purse is bigger than V

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Just Harlem Shakin it

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Tiffany is doing some sort of aeroplane dance and I’m pelvic thrusting…it’s fine!

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They’re so happy together…this is right after their commitment ceremony.

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Nikki’s brother enjoying cake…alone….

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This pic was staged however she did pull my belt out while we were dancing…she wanted to see my Peacock!

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Thiiiiiiiiiiiiinks

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There’s that fucking hat again

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Sexy posing and Kelsi vomiting?

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Open bar is done…gotta get one for my friend!

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We have a lot of friends who were thirsty!

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….cheese…

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Yup!

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Tiffany didn’t get the memo…or she likes corn on the cob!

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This is the perfect example of we didn’t know our pic was going to be taken!

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Where was this couch?

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Someone’s about to get hit….or told they need Jesus…this picture is fierce as fuck

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Hey Cheetah Girl!

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Oh she about to be dead!

After the party party was over it was off to Honey. for round 2! Leave it to Nikki to have multiple locations for her parties!

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Real life Ralph gave a lap dance to Nikki’s brother…Ralph couldn’t you be faithful for at least an hour to your 19-year-old bisexual maybe boyfriend?

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Alex stopped by on his break…Danny has the most vacant expression ever on his face.

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‘I mean…’

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Rachel ain’t got time for this picture

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These bitches yelling at me to take their fucking picture when I’m in the middle of a conversation…and not even with either of their phones…with my phone!

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Everyone doing some signature Nikki poses! That duck face got blurred real hard!

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And Sarah! Out of nowhere!

After Honey. We went down to Vak’s the shit show continued! I went to Erneys for a second though and made Alex put on the birthday hat!

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He loved it!

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I mean…I don’t even know what those things are…

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God Bless America…and washer bags

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These two pictures are a real fucking mess…you make your own commentary

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Just Danny eating out Rachel’s cooter!

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So Nikki applied lipstick and kissed Danny…he screamed get it off multiple times and then kissed her chesticles! As you can see someone wears too much lipstick and that someone is Danny.

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Never forget!

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