I will be the first to admit I love Cinco! De! Mayo! I even ended a friendship with someone because they blew me off on Cinco De Mayo ’11. So of course I was going out but also because Shelly threatened my life if I were to not go out.
So off to Novak’s I went to meet up with Danny, Laura, Brandi and Kayla whom were already there.
*Meanwhile in an undisclosed location*
Bitches be tryin to look gangsta!
Nawwwww not really….
Off to see the Wizard of boOZe
Someone tell her she isn’t black and can get her hair wet!
Idk that Tiffany should be the one driving….
Just sayin!
Mahalo!
Must have been some sort of discharge giving her pink eye and shit
Soooooo Nikki’s eating toast….and Molly and Tiffany are eating finger pussy? Works for me!
Slowly but surely the Shit Show accumulated.
Alex stopped by before heading to work and tried to force some Quesadillas into my mouth but at the time I really wasn’t hungry….this would turn out to be a regretful decision and I should have eaten them.
Tiffany arrived and yelled out ‘Who wants to touch me inappropriately, don’t all jump at once’
They were giving away these drink mixers that lit up when liquid was in them. She said ‘Oh shit this is like lava’
I mean work that chip dip platter gurrrrrl
Lauren decided it would be a good idea to finger bang her way into our hearts…but at least she used protection.
Y’all got any Fiestas? We sho the fuck do!!!!!!
Tiffany had a slight boner just thinking about Cinco!
Prom pic real life!
Prom in the distance but we can’t attend so we took this pic anyway!
We made Jesus and Mr. Rogers make out. It’s pretty shameful.
I think these cups may have poorly influenced the day.
Right as my friend Mac showed up drunk Danny was tired of Novak’s and there one man band so we headed over to Rehab to take over the jukebox.
For no reason at all Tiffany veered off the cross walk to play in the world tiniest puddle ever
To which Laura decided to join her…no one should puddle jump alone
They just look so happy!
Nikki showing her cherry bombs!
Only to walk in the door and they had a fucking band playing! There was a guy who was in the band who used to date my friend Emily but cheated on her with dudes and a girl whom he entered an LTR…it was an interesting moment.
I got this big bucket of booze and drunky aquino decided she wanted my bucket! Bitch needed to back it up! lol
She was forced to get her own…she did get a lot of straws because she wanted to share!
Kerplunking! NBD
Mac was pretty excited about it too! Laura made sure we were open for business!
Surprisingly I managed to find the passageway into Narnia!
Nikki and random black lady!
Kayla found another asian! It was a pretty exciting moment…I guess you had to be there
I photobombed the shit out of this pic…looking possessed!
‘Help me!’
This bitch!
Laura got you boo!
‘Take one with us looking at the camera’
Laura looks like she’s sniffing out her territory.
Mac your face!
Don’t mind Kayla’s finger…it’s wasted!
Now they’re best friends!
I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to give any member of the shit show crew a marker…but it happened.
Foo Man Chu!
I think this guy has it covered
Tiffany got done first…Lauren can hardly contain herself!
Lauren getting a beautimous makeover!
Makes her look tough!
I mean….someone loves her!
Don’t worry she’s a smart guy!
She’s got a secret….she hasn’t shaved in a while!
Laura gave me a Hitler stache…it may have been too big…it’s finr
Auf Wiedersehen Asshole!
Just sexy soooooo sexy
I love pictures within pictures…and that DJ is the only one looking in this one
Group stache shots…mine could only be on my finger
Just your regular mid afternoon stretch session!
IDK how it’s comfortable to be in that hard ass chair like that!
Lap Dance or stretch?
Oh it’s a lap dance!!!!!!!
I love that this was like one of those let’s take a pretty picture…and that stache….
Creepin…..
Derp!
Don’t mind me or my mustache we’ll be in this bush!
Drunk Shelly…Horny Tiffany…It’s fine!
Yeah she drunk!
I mean…was there only one left?
Is that water?
This is Dj’s perfect train!
I love this bitch Molly! I also love that Nikki looks like she’s praising one of those weird cult gods.
Non Kissing Cousins!
Yes those are tits….fact.
Once the sun started going down we made our way down to Honey.
Best moment ever while waiting to get a drink Danny comes back with a look of disgust on his face. I was like boo what is wrong. There was a fucking cigarette butt floating in the drink he had just got from the bar….how and the fuck does that happen. (He would also like everyone to know that he did have to pay for his second drink and that’s ridiculous)
They’re Atomic pit stop.
Yup. I’m wasted…Kyle said as long as his eyes are open then it’s a good pic.
Fuckers pushed me out of the pic!
I’m in love with this picture!
This is love!
This looks heated….
and Heather looks kinda sexy….maybe she added that dash of cig to Danny’s drink.
When the hat comes off shit’s gonna get real!
I promised myself I would leave the grove by ten…I left at like 11:15. I had very serious important special wonderful loving things to do.
*Meanwhile these bitches were still drinking*
Switching jackets….perfectly normal
Someone is thinking to themselves that they don’t know how they’re going to function at work the next day.
Work that non stripper pole pole!
I mean Sarah those boobs!
Someone is open for business!!!!!!!! Enter in the rear!!!!!!!(Sorry Nikki’s mom)
I say next year we take this shit show to Mexico for Cinco.
But I’ll look worse than this in Mexico!
Also do y’all have any mozzarella cheese sticks?
Confessions of a Someday Somebody 