Why Don’t You Pour Some More Vodka In There?

There isn’t a better feeling than waking up with a smile, especially if you’re smiling because of a wonderful evening prior.

Worked on that treadmill some…we still aren’t friends but I think we are working on having some sort of relationship.

Heard from Alex who was up surprisingly early compared to his normal schedule. Said to come over whenever to start our 1 on 1 friend day but I could go nowhere until I had watched how Shonda Rhimes had fucked up Grey’s this week! That bitch needs to just let everyone be happy and let the patients have the drama!

Got ready after Bailey’s poor breakdown and headed over to Alex’s. I mean why did it have to be raining so much? Like it was such bullshit really…like how does weather even work? Because even the meteorologists can’t get it right sometimes!

He was watching I Am Legend when I got there and I started watching while he cooked…suddenly *spoiler alert* Will Smith lived….I mean….I was hella confused I was like boo this isn’t right he’s supposed to die. Apparently it’s different on DVD.

Ole boy still had to finish laundry and get ready to go to the movies…I try and rush him and I feel like it has the opposite effect sometimes. We left only to have to deal with bullshit rain still. Luckily the movie theater is close because I didn’t want to miss out on getting a good seat. I may have run a red light to ensure timeliness. This is becoming a problem.

It’s sad to see that the ticket prices went up to 12.00….like really the vaulted ceilings must be making the rent extra expensive.

Iron Man 3 was legit as fuck. As I stated on FB I take back all negative comments made about Gwyneth Paltrow being the AIDs monkey in Contagion. She was actually a little bad ass. The best part though was that little kid. He killed it.

After the movie got out we went back to his place so we could decide what to do next. We stopped at the gas station for ciggies and I got a redbull…for some reason she wrapped it in a paper bag…don’t ask me why…I guess she knows I like to party…

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It was decided that we would go to this Asian buffet. Alex described it by saying ‘You know it’s good when it’s always full of Asian people eating’. I dropped him off after and then headed over to get Danny for an evening of debauchery.

Of course they weren’t even close to being ready to get ready…it’s fine though that Danny must have some sort of machine that gets him ready because it was hella quick. He said we were meeting Laura at Rehab at 9:30. We left the house at 9:30 and when we got to Rehab bitch wasn’t even there!

She showed up about fifteen minutes later with Angela. Whom pointed out immediately that her pants were oversized.

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Pardon the picture quality she was doing the Hammertime

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Laura brought fake furry mustaches to help celebrate Tres De Mayo!

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Idk who I look like but it’s a mess and terrifying…SMH

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I mean who not make your Irish shirt year round? All you need is paper, tape, a pen and imagination.

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Group shot…Angela’s mustache actually looks like it’s about to crawl off of her face and onto my arm.

She bought us all a shot which was a very nice surprise. My home girl Lauren McArthur met us over there because it was required since she’s only in town a short while. Brandi and Kayla finally made it out after getting ready. Last but not least was Constance. I like that she text me to find out what time we would all be out so she could plan how late she would be….bitch has the late thing down!

It was hilarious when she was walking there and then ran across the street. Them boobs! I opened the door to say that not realizing that it was assisting to hold Danny up. I got punched for that allegedly…I don’t remember getting hit.

We all finished our drinks and headed over to Vaks for some more shennan’s. I thoroughly apologize to any victims of my drunk convos. I hate that I run into people who I’ve met before and I only remember their face and nothing else about them. Then the only thing I can talk about is myself and that’s selfish.

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This guys ass crack was hanging out….I thought everyone should know about it.

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This was after we found out we were being charged 8.50 for a Vodka Red Bull….seems a little ridic to me this aint New York.

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Laura found this winner!

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They be feasting on Constance’s titties!

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AP was there I love her so mucho!

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I stoled her hat it fit like a glove!

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McArthur knows this was some serious shit stealing this hat!

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Connie is seducing the shit out of the camera!

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Playing Kerplunk!

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I mean it’s a lot of straws.

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This moment only took about six years! (Sorry not sorry Shelly! Tots worth it!)

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I’m thinking it’s a good look….about pissed myself when Danny called it a fucking dreamcatcher!

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If there is making out happening you better believe these two won’t be far behind. When I made out with Nikki I apparently got done and asked Danny if he wanted to make out without asking him…I’m not quite sure about that. I do remember being so sticky and wet and feeling like a cheap trick.

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I don’t really know how to describe this photo other than to say it’s amazing! Simply amazing! Working that nose ring.

I got a drink from the bar and told Shelly ‘why don’t you put a little more Vodka in there’ I was told no…it’s fine. I wasn’t really feeling drunk at the time. Five minutes later however shit got real. I started running around that building like I did a bump.

I went and started small talk with a guy in glasses and just asked him if he read books. I got raped by Dj while trying to get a beverage. Danny came out and yelled at me that he was leaving so I had to close out and go with him down to Erney’s.

I got down there and was cut off from drinks as soon as I walked in the door by Alex. It’s fine though Paul gave me a shot of Fireball….I mean it nearly killed me but it’s fine. I may or may not have made out with a couple….it’s fine though we’re still friends J.

I gave Kevin and Nathan a ride home. It was literally like ten minutes away and Nathan managed to spill my leftovers in the back seat(that’s right Kyle I forgot the fucking leftovers in the back seat SMH). As we were walking into the house they asked if I had a problem with big dogs and I was like no not at all. Then they opened the door and there stood the largest dog I’ve ever encountered. Seriously outrageous! His name is Duke and we’re in love.

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I told him to sit and he just climbed on up!

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He just wanted to cuddle!

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Poor Nathan ripped the curtains down. I think he said they looked better that way and that he didn’t do it.

I think I left around 5:30 or so they offered for me to sleep in one of their spare beds but I literally just wanted to sleep in my own bed. So I drove home as the sun began to rise and chatted it up with Nikki’s still awake drunk ass who promptly passed out on me which I too decided was an excellent idea.

2 Comments

  1. I don’t know why I’m just now remember this conversation I had with Connie. Went like this:
    Me: Hey Connie! Look at you! I like your hair!
    Connie: Oh thanks! Yeah, I decided to do something crazy!
    Me: I see that! I like it! It makes you look like a lesbian!
    [Connie walks away]

    Like

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