I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye.

For those of you who don’t know what this is from bear with me. I promise I’m not a bitter crazy person.

When I first saw the trailer for the film Closer I had to see the movie. 1. Because Natalie Portman rocks my socks. 2. Because I love a good romance drama.

I saw it once….twice….three times. Even though my movie theater wasn’t showing it I paid to see it that many times because anyone can attest that it’s a bitching film.

I of course ran out and bought the stage version. Both by Patrick Marber. I read it in the car from Fairview Heights to Edwardsville. I get to the end and am devastated to learn that my character that I related to so much in the movie…

*SPOILER ALERT*

FUCKING DIES!

I recovered from this low blow from Patrick and was determined to continue to love this show and spread it like herpes at a rave.

My first opportunity came in my directing class. I did the scene at the end where the title of this blog post happens. I cast Sherry big tits one of my loves of SIUE and rob. I fired rob after like a week and he was recast by Tyler smith. Oh yeah I’m the bitch that fires actors that aren’t gonna work.(this was quite unheard of in directing class)

The only problem was that Tyler was a dancer and not an actor. Also might I add he was a mo so he had a hard time pretending to be in love with sherry on that level. Jenni Grimes helped him with this by yelling at him to pretend she was a boy.

The scene culminates with Tyler’s character slapping sherry across the face. Of course he was too scared to do it. After many slap sessions it still wasn’t perfect but it was believable. During the final scene it was going amazingly until the slap. I’m sure you’re thinking he missed her face. The fucker made direct contact.

It was literally the slap heard round the world. He slapped her so fucking hard that the audience jumped. I jumped. Sherry was shell-shocked. Being the amazing actress that she is she came back from the slap full forced and ended flawlessly. Red hand mark and all.

I would later submit this show to direct. I worked really hard on my proposal. This process was very drawn out. I had to break down the entire show and what I wanted to get from it. Work out a mission statement and develop an understanding of what I would want from the show design wise.

I’m more free-spirited in that department. I knew what I wanted directionally for my actors but as far as the sets, lights, costumes etc. were concerned I would rather other artists be able to express themselves rather than have to compromise to my demands.

But alas the fact that I’m a shitty interviewer always gets me. I felt bad for myself because I know I could have turned it out. I also felt bad for the audiences because they missed out on seeing Natalie DiCristofano would have been the ultimate Alice Ayres and she wanted it too.

Sorry bout it.

Since this piece has come into my life I’ve been a total pusher.

‘Have you seen Closer?’
‘Have you read Closer?’

I mean get it together people!

I’m a firm believer that it ruined any chance of a love life ill ever have because I felt for Alice so much. Being aloof and opening your heart to someone and it not working, then you die.

So for me ill keep it locked up. I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye.

Why waste time on feelings that aren’t there whether it be personal or romantic. I don’t have time for it and neither does anyone else.

If anyone wants to see this movie or borrow my very worn script let me know. Be the change you need in your life.

Hallo Stranger!

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Happy post Valentines post! Don’t worry about it I’m not.

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